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A response
to the dork who hates wearing condoms: Suck it up and buy
the expensive stuff. The Japanese brand Vis-a-Vis feels amazing.
I tell all my friends who complain about condoms to use those.
They say it's too much money and I say, "Which is more
important? A little money or your health and showing your
partner a little respect?" Besides, they feel freakin'
fantastic, for both partners. Yes: Sex with condoms can still
be mind-blowingly good. Also don't forget the lube-just a
drop inside.
—Gourmet
Condom Lover
Your response
to "Insert Witty Name Here" about his hate for condoms
was surprisingly one-sided. Sure, he ought to appreciate the
incentive to find another LTR willing to pump herself full
of hormones so he can get off more easily, but some practical
condom tips wouldn't hurt in the meanwhile. I've found that
the new, baggy-ended condoms, like the Inspiral, provide much
better stimulation-especially with a little lube on the tip
inside.
—Applauding
Rubber Technology
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Regarding
the guy who ended the LTR and can't come while using a condom
. . . I was in the exact same predicament several years back.
Just to augment the advice you gave IWNH (which was spot-on):
He should consider a couple of things. If he can't come using
a condom, he probably isn't very sensitive. He should cut
back on the jerking off, and when he does, use Astroglide
and a lighter touch. If you crank it too hard too often, you
aren't going to respond to the more subtle touch of the average
vagina, especially through a layer of latex.
He also shouldn't discount the possibility that as thrilling
as sex with random partners can be after an LTR, he probably
isn't as comfortable with it as he thinks he is. My current
girlfriend (two years and counting) had to go off the pill
for a while for medical reasons, so we had to use condoms.
Though I'd had a really hard time coming with a condom on
with previous partners, and even with her when we first got
together, it was never an issue that time. I'm sure our comfort
level played at least some role in that.
—Been
There, Done That
IWNH's
inability to reach orgasm with a condom on may be an after-effect
of circumcision. This operation removes much of the erogenous
tissue and causes the head, normally a mucoid internal organ,
to form a tough, protective covering, further desensitizing
it. The good news is some things can help a desensitized penis.
Leaving an inch or two of condom loose at the end, with lube
(but no air) inside, allows the condom itself to move, stimulating
the glans directly, as a foreskin would. Keeping the head
covered, either with the shaft skin or silky fabric, lets
it soften and regain some sensitivity. The Your-Skin Cone,
available at www.tlctugger.com, and the ManHood penis sheath
(www.manhood.mb.ca) can provide the necessary coverage. A
long-term solution is a process called "foreskin restoration,"
which grows enough shaft skin to fold over the head like a
foreskin; www.norm.org is a good place to start learning how
to grow your own replacement hoodie.
—Cease
Unnecessary Trauma
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I'm a
gay male, a few months out of an LTR, and I have some advice
for Insert Witty Name Here-the guy who hates wrapping his
tool. My ex and I had a stable relationship with good communication
and trusted each other enough to go bare, so when I went back
on the market, I wasn't thrilled with the idea of wrapping
up either; the constricting fit turns me off, which may be
IWNH's problem too. However, refusing to go bare, I've found
an option that works incredibly well for me-the "female"
or "insertive" condom." Made of polyurethane,
it's thinner than latex so really does give a "good as
bare" feel and doesn't fit snugly. With just a little
practice they're easy to insert, they're pre-lubed on the
inside with a silicon lube, and, best of all (in my opinion),
can be inserted well in advance. That might not be a plus
to IWNH if he likes to go down on his lay-of-the-day, but
I'm not into rimming so it works for me and makes the move
from foreplay to hole-in-one smooth and effortless! The only
drawback is they're a lot more expensive, but great sex and
good health aren't worth skimping on.
—Madison
Dude
To the
young man who was asking for tips about condom use, you should
have mentioned that size matters. I have a large penis. Until
I was 27, I used regular-sized condoms and did not fully enjoy
sex. Then, I met a girl who told me about larger condoms.
Suddenly I could feel much more and was much more comfortable.
I really enjoyed it when I found a condom that fit. Then one
day I noticed XL in the store and thought I would give it
a try. The condoms I had been using were still a little snug.
Well, the XL fit great and so I was "off to the races"
again. However, after a little experience with the XL, I noticed
that I had less feeling and more slippage. So I went back
to the large size and I've determined the fit is perfect.
My point is, this young man may need to try different condoms.
He should just make sure he doesn't go too small and break
it.
—Found
Alternate Type Protection Equipment Needs in Sex
mail@savagelove.net
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