Road
to Anywhere
A
summer trip down memory’s two-lane highway
Forget
cut grass and sea breezes: The most evocative smell of summer
for me is the composite odor of a hot vinyl dashboard, roadside
food, caged animals, automotive air freshener and my father’s
Bay Rum aftershave—all inhaled while rocketing down the
highway in the back seat of a station wagon for destinations
known or (more often) unknown.
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The
summers of my childhood were largely defined by long-haul
family road trips, when my father (a career Marine Corps
officer), mother, sister and I (along with an assortment
of dogs, cats and plants) would vacate one home, pile into
the car, and set off on a long, one-way trip to a new life
with a new home in a new town. Summer was the season of
change for us, and somewhere during each one of those summer
road trips—as my sister and I sat in the back seat, sticky
with melted chocolate and potato-chip grease, hypnotized
by the power lines that appeared to oscillate up and down
as you stared at them—there was a tangible crossover moment,
a faint psychic “pop” as the last cord attaching us to our
departure point snapped, and we began to feel the gravitational
pull of our new destination.
During years when my father didn’t have a new assignment,
we’d pile into the car anyway and drive down to visit relatives
in North and South Carolina, just because it somehow wasn’t
really a summer if we didn’t have that car time together.
And if there were no necessary trips lined up, my father
would often make some up anyway, just to go drive somewhere
with us, to go see what a road on the map looked like when
we were actually on it, to figure out the best way to get
from here to there, even if we didn’t need to go there for
any particularly good reason.
Who knew what we might find if we just got in the car and
drove? Maybe a great new place for chili dogs. Maybe a battlefield
where one or more of our ancestors fought in the Civil War.
Maybe a miniature-golf course with great soft ice cream
and a layout simple enough to allow the kids to be competitive
with the adults. Maybe a town with a funny name. Maybe a
mountain my father climbed when he was a boy himself. Maybe
an old airplane. Maybe a stray cat that my mother would
pick up and bring home and keep in our basement until she
could find it a home. Or maybe nothing at all . . . which
was fine, really, because the chocolate still melted just
the same way, and the potato chips were just as greasy,
and the power lines oscillated up and down anyway, whether
we got anywhere worthwhile at day’s end or not.
My mother recently asked me about my earliest childhood
memory, and of course it took place during the summer in
the back seat of a car, which at the time I had to myself,
since my sister hadn’t been born yet. I had a pinwheel,
and was letting it spin in the breeze created by the open
window in those pre-air-conditioning days. My mother turned
to tell me to be careful not to let it blow out the window
. . . just moments before I lost my grip on it and it sailed
away, gone almost before I realized it. What sticks with
me to this day from that memory is the sense of shock I
felt sitting there, that something perfectly secure and
happy—a summer road trip, no less—could change so suddenly,
a whim of fate and physics taking something from me, just
like that.
I relearned that lesson on a completely different scale
nearly 40 years later, when I received a phone call at work
telling me that my father had been critically injured in
an auto accident. He was out running errands, preparing
for a road trip to the beach, when an elderly driver blacked
out, crossed the median and hit him head on, fate and physics
in full force. I flew down to South Carolina from Albany
and was there when he died four days later. But after his
funeral, I didn’t fly back home to Albany: I got behind
the wheel of a car and I drove, taking a variety
of routes that I’d never taken before, driving through some
towns with funny names, past a few battlefields and miniature
golf courses, stopping along the way to have a chili dog
or three in his honor.
My father taught me how to drive, and he taught me how to
love driving, and he taught me the value of loading my family
up, buying all the junk food we can eat and going somewhere,
anywhere, to experience what summer looks (and smells) like
from the inside of a car.
Just hold onto your pinwheel, kiddo.
—J.
Eric Smith