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You
hate-spewing, body-image-fascism- promoting asshole.
I’m a large woman. I read your two incredibly offensive columns
about “girl love handles” and the supposed “health risks”
of obesity. How dare you oppress women, large and small, with
your judgments! Maybe if you enjoyed putting something in
your mouth every once in a while that wasn’t cock, Mr. Skin
and Boners, you would see things differently. At least food
is supposed to go in our mouths. Why don’t you try swallowing
something that wasn’t shot down your throat sometime? Food,
it’s what’s for dinner. For some of us, anyway.
—Large
and Royally Disgusted About Savage’s Sermons
First
off, LARDASS, you neglected to include a sign-off, forcing
me to create one for you. I tried to create one that captured
the spirit and tone of your letter, and I think I did pretty
well. Too bad about the acronym, though, huh?
Secondly, I’m sick of talking about GLH and the obesity epidemic.
I would dearly love to move on, but the mail—oh, the mail!—keeps
pouring in. Some is from folks who’ve got my back (thanks,
gang), but most is from ticked-off women like LARDASS here.
As of this writing, I’ve received exactly 10,547 pieces of
e-mail—yes, that’s the actual tally—complaining that my refusal
to take the self-esteem-boosting/public-health-shredding position
that you can be obese and healthy somehow oppresses women.
Interestingly enough, I haven’t received a single piece of
e-mail about how, say, the Food and Drug Administration oppresses
women.
In December the FDA’s Reproductive Health Advisory Committee
voted 23 to four in favor of making Plan B, the “morning after”
birth-control pill, available to women, large and small, without
a prescription. Plan B is emergency contraception, and women
who’ve had a condom break on ’em or engaged in drunken unprotected
sex need to be able to get their hands on it quickly. Plan
B is not “regular” birth control, meaning it can’t take the
place of the pill or condoms. But it is a safe and effective
backup that prevents a woman from ovulating or, if a fertilized
egg is already present, prevents it from attaching to the
womb—the fate of half of all fertilized eggs anyway. Plan
B is available to women in 100 nations and sold over the counter
in 33.
Despite the recommendation of its expert panel, in May the
FDA announced that it would not make Plan B available without
a prescription. Why? The Bush-appointed asswipes running the
FDA claimed they were concerned that Plan B couldn’t be used
safely by girls between the ages of 11 and 15. (It’s better
to be pregnant at 11, I guess.) By that standard, members
of the FDA’s expert panel pointed out, no drugs would be available
to anyone without a prescription. You can overdose and die
on freaking Tylenol, for crying out loud. The real reason
the Bushies don’t want women to get their hands on Plan B,
of course, is that they don’t want women—young or old, large
or small—to be able to control their own reproductive systems.
That’s oppression, no?
Sorting through 10,547 outraged e-mails, I couldn’t help but
wonder how many of the 10,547 of you took the time to write
the FDA and complain about the Plan B decision. If you did,
good for you. If you didn’t, there’s still time: You can make
amends for obsessing about how my column allegedly oppresses
women by calling the FDA on their actual oppression of American
women. Call the bastards at the FDA at 1-888-463-6332, or
send them an e-mail via the FDA’s Web site (www.fda.gov).
But considering that the FDA is currently in the hands of
Bush administration appointees (read: Jesus freaks and Bible-thumpers),
your time might be better spent sending letters to your representatives
in the U.S. House and Senate, which you can do via these two
Web sites: www.house.gov and www.senate.gov.
Finally, god bless Canada for being so sensible and so close
by. Days after the FDA refused to approve Plan B, the Canadian
government announced that Canadians will soon be able to enjoy
over-the-counter Plan B along with their gay marriages, socialized
medicine, and decriminalized pot.
How dare you spew your hateful bile! It’s hate speech like
yours that causes violence toward fat womyn. I stand a glorious
five foot two and weigh a beautiful 450 pounds. My fellow
sisters and I apologize to no one for our looks. We were born
this way. The hate must stop!
—Big
Womyn
First
off, you were born five foot two, 450 pounds? Did your mother
burst like a seedpod?
Second, enough already! Christ! I am thoroughly annoyed at
having my tame statements of fact—being heavy is a health
risk; rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly—characterized as
“hate speech.” (Particularly by people who, like LARDASS,
fill their letters complaining about my hate speech with juvenile
taunts about my burning hunger for cock.) Perhaps the problem
here is that LARDASS and BW lack perspective. My comments
only seem hateful to people who haven’t read anything truly
hateful about fat. Something like, say, this letter from a
Brit:
From a European perspective, it is both baffling and hilarious
to read the vitriolic, pious, unhinged views that the whole
fat “thing” provokes in the USA. To all but a tiny handful
of Europeans it is so self-evident as to preclude all possible
debate that being anything above about a size 16 (which translates
to a size 10/12 in the U.S., I believe) makes you a lardy,
lazy, ugly, unhealthy, sweaty, smelly, unfuckable, unattractive,
unwanted piece of soon-to-die-early shit. Babies in prams
will cheerfully tell you this. Their parents will fail to
reprove them for it. Shit, even the sensible fatties grin
and fess up. “Just love food,” they’ll tell you. “Know it’s
killing me, but hey. Life sucks.”
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I smoke 20 fags a day but I don’t feel the need to convince
the world that I’m actually a sweet-smelling, enlightened,
nonaddicted, attractive, healthy guy. I’m a smelly, sick addict
on the way to a coronary. Wish it weren’t so, but hey. Life
sucks. Only myself to blame. Seems to me that the problem
with the fat issue in the U.S. isn’t that people are fat (which
they undeniably are: I’ve never seen such a collection of
sweaty porkers as I see in the USA when I visit), but that
they’re so goddamned crazy and angry about being fat.
—Smelly
United Kingdom Smoker
First,
let the record show that I disagree with almost everything
in SUKS’ letter. That’s hate speech and I condemn it. Roundly.
Uh . . . soundly. I condemn it soundly, not roundly. Ahem.
Second, presuming they didn’t both die of strokes as they
read SUKS’ letter, I hereby invite LARDASS and BW to write
SUKS angry letters—letters which I will happily forward directly
to him after you cc me the angry letters you two sent to the
FDA about the Plan B decision.
To hell with people complaining about fat people and to
hell with fat people complaining about people complaining
about them. I read your column for the freaky shit! Bring
me the piss- guzzling, diaper-wearing, leather-clad horsemen!
—Doctor
Odd
I
agree that it’s time to move on, DO, so the fat subject is
closed. As for piss-guzzling, diaper-wearing, leather-clad
horsemen, we aim to please around here: Check out www.boytaur.net
for a nice selection of horsemen and boys. None are guzzling
piss, wearing diapers, or clad in leather, but I think you’ll
find them plenty freaky.
mail@savagelove.net
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