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When
I first starting dating my boyfriend, he told me he was a
furry. I didn’t have any idea what he meant, so he explained
to me that he really wanted a costume that was basically paws,
a tail and maybe some other catlike features, and he wanted
to have sex while wearing this costume.
I’m not a furry, but I would like to surprise him and try
this out. I figured finding a costume online would be easy,
but so far all I can find are the type that look like a high
school mascot’s, and this isn’t what he’s into. I shudder
at the thought of pulling out my local yellow pages and trying
to describe this to every person that does costume design
in town. (“And you’re going to do what with this costume?”)
Is there a place where other furries go to get their costumes
online?
—Wannabe
Furry in Colorado
First
things first: There are people out there reading this who
not only think that I made up your letter, WFIC, but that
I made up the very concept of a “furry” fetish. To the doubters
I say this: Furries are for real. Sometimes called plushophiles,
furries are men and women who are turned on by the idea of
having sex with stuffed animals or having sex while wearing
“fursuits” that make them look like stuffed animals. Furries
have been written up in Vanity Fair, dissected on MTV,
and a furry-fetish party was recently used as a plot device
on a crappy TV show (NBC’s She Spies).
Why are some people turned on by stuffed animals? While you
can never know for sure why odd things turn some people on,
I do have a theory about furries.
Furries emerged in the late 1990s, right when the first generation
of children whose entire lives were dominated by Disney products
and imagery came of age. After being exposed to images of
cuddly, safe, saucer-eyed, anthropomorphized animals throughout
their childhoods, during puberty these same kids had sex presented
to them as something deadly and dangerous. The abstinence
“educators” and AIDS “awareness” campaigns they were subjected
to exaggerated the actual risks of HIV transmission, pregnancy
and death. Is it any wonder that a tiny percentage of this
Disney/abstinence generation came to fetishize the safe and
cuddly stuffed animals of their childhoods?
OK, on to WFIC’s question.
I wouldn’t recommend that you surprise your boyfriend with
a fursuit. If he’s been fantasizing about this for a long
time, then without a doubt he has very specific fursuit in
mind. It would be better to surprise him with the news that
you want to make his fantasies come true rather than to surprise
him with an expensive fursuit that might be the wrong style,
color, hair length or breed.
So where do you two go online to get a fursuit? For help with
that question, I turned to a bigwig in the furries scene.
He didn’t want me to use his name in the column, so we’ll
just call him Tiger.
Tiger suggests that you check out a Web site called FurBid
(www.furbid.ws), an eBay
for furries. Twenty fursuits were being auctioned at FurBid
when I visited. While most were cat suits—tigers, panthers,
leopards—they all appeared to be bulky, mascot-style fursuits.
If your boyfriend doesn’t like the fursuits for sale at FurBid,
Tiger recommended that you do some searching on the Web.
“If
he goes to google.com and searches on ‘fursuit’ or ‘fursuit
sex,’ he’ll find thousands of furries,” said Tiger. “It isn’t
too hard to find someone out there who is talented in the
art of making fursuits designed for sex, and they could get
one made to their own specifications.”
Of course, you could just ask a local costume designer to
whip something up. You don’t have to tell the shop or the
designer that your boyfriend wants a cat suit because he’s
a furry; just tell them that your boyfriend wants to be a
really sexy cat for Halloween. After the designer builds your
boyfriend a sexy cat outfit complete with paws, a tail and
other catlike features, you can take the cat costume home
and with a pair of scissors, a needle and some thread transform
your boyfriend’s “Halloween” costume into his very own, very
special, soon-to-be-come-stained crotchless fursuit.
I’m 19 years old, and for a while I looked at disgusting
stuff online to see if I blanched at it. Here’s the prob:
Dad recently found a bestiality flick on my computer. I told
him I was just testing myself but he doesn’t seem to believe
me. I was actually disgusted by the images. How can I convince
my dad that I’m not some deviant?
—One
Horrified Shamed Hacker in Trouble
Your
dad may want to believe you—he’s probably desperate to believe
you—but you can’t expect him to take your denials at face
value. Why not? Because you would deny being into bestiality
even if you were. Sorry, OHSHIT, but it’s going to take a
long time to convince your dad that you’re not into dogs or
goats or horses or Ann Coulter or whatever other animals were
featured in the porn he found on your computer. Don’t ever
download animal porn again; don’t ever get a dog; don’t ever
visit a farm—and your dad will eventually accept your denials
. . . in 10 or 20 years.
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I’m a white 31-year-old man in Ohio planning a move to Washington
D.C. I have a desire to make love to large and/or mature black
ladies for pay. I give good full-body massage; I love (and
am good at) eating pussy; and I enjoy giving and receiving
golden showers. Are there any escort services in the D.C.
area that would allow me to specialize in large and/or mature
black women? I realize that my preferences may seem unusual,
but it won’t take much reflection to see that there may be
a demand for what I have to offer.
—Wannabe
Ho
Let
me see if I follow you, WH: You want large and/or mature black
women in the Washington D.C. area to pay you for the honor
of fulfilling your fantasies? That’s not gonna happen. The
only way you will ever find a black woman willing to indulge
your rent-boy fantasy is to pay a professional to pretend
she’s paying you.
In your Sept. 28, 2000 column, you refused to hop on the
Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche bandwagon, and you were vindicated
when they broke up. I am actually writing to point out another
prediction contained in that column: “No one takes heterosexuals
who get married during the infatuation stage seriously. Will
anyone be shocked when Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie
go boom?” Less than two years later: boom.
You get a lot of shit from your readers, Dan, so I thought
you should mention your prediction about Billy Bob and Angelina
in an upcoming column. To the doubters I would like to say
this: Dan Savage, revealer of things to come! Listen when
he speaks!
—Frank
in Dreamy Ottawa
Thanks,
FIDO.
Let us now pause to contemplate the mistakes made by Anne
and Ellen and Billy Bob and Angelina so that we might learn
from them: Whether you’re gay or straight, necking in front
of the President of the United States during the infatuation
stage, getting someone’s name tattooed on your ass or arm
during the infatuation stage, and blathering on and on to
Oprah during the infatuation stage does NOT prove that your
love is real and deep and everlasting. What it proves is that
you are shallow and stupid and soon-to-be-single.
Tighty Whitie Contest Update: The polls have closed, the winner
has been chosen. But it might not be the candidate you think
it is. Hell, it might not be the candidate in first place.
Next week in Savage Love, the TW contest winner is unmasked!
mail@savagelove.net
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